It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
