there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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