I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
