to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
