my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Someone signed my nipple.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
