Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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