I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
