doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
