You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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