Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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