Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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