my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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