i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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