I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I lost the right to judge tonight
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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