WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
