Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
