Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
