Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Michael Bay diarrhea
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
