Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
