so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
