I just pynch a tree in the face
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
