I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
