We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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