At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
