i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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