I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
