Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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