The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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