from now on my penis is your penis
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
