I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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