yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
