I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
