it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
