I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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