Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
