Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
