All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
