I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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