in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I need to sanitize my soul.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
