you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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