he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
