It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
