dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
he fucked my hip out of place.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
