i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
