my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
nutella sex= disaster
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
