spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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