If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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