Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
