Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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