I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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