I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
