Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
