At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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